Perhaps a little too niche.

The wind and the waves are enough for them.  They don’t need us.

Every good butcher cum warrior reinactment enthusiast should get one.

Of course this exists – do you think I like my hair to look like a dandelion clock?

The schmoochiest cuddliest loveliest day of the year approaches and he’s still a frigid evil troll.

Not the most acerbic of cusses but worthy of use, no?

My Auntie Pru would definitely beg to differ, you should see the state of her swags.

They drive like little bl**dy maniacs yet not one of them has made the news (according to Google) for being punished for their anti-social ways!

In the words of our submitter: “I could have sworn they are doing some business over there.”

My house is littered with it?

None apparently… nor “bellringer’s shoulder pain” either.  I may take up the hobby now I’m confident there are no worrying levels of physical duress.

How can one ensure that their favourite evergreens are both comfortable yet sufficiently well-presented when their bonnets itch so?

Running 26.4 miles when there’s no warrant out for your arrest and you haven’t got your wifebeater caught in the tailgate of a Ute?

going round in circles in front of my absinthe-fueled eyes…..

Untrue, so unsurprisingly unstated.

“When the party is rocking and you run out of liquor, this drink can be a quick (and less tasty) substitute.”

A juicy tale.

I’ve seen some that mince but none as yet that have been minced.

…on? I wish I knew.

Pretty little birdies only found in Tibet.  (Yes, get your mind back out of the gutter.)