earwig elephantitis
I shake my head in heartfelt sympathy for the little critters.
fallopian jellybean
Now I’ve heard some irritating cutesy names for unborn children but this is a little too much.
stiff lard starter
Mouthwateringly bad for your cholesterol levels.
cannibals chew people
In case you were unclear about that.
stink bombs effect on mars
Them aliens would like a word, please…
rose-coloured police hat
Now wouldn’t that make Brixton a nicer place to be?
midget eating deformed rats
It’s the kindest thing you can do for them.
invisible juggling machine
it’s rubbish, it regularly drops balls but you just can’t prove it.
goldfish housebrick
As seen in Elle Deco last month.