hip replacement reunion

Perhaps a little too niche.

lighthouse watchman lonely hearts

The wind and the waves are enough for them.  They don’t need us.

bacon chest plate

Every good butcher cum warrior reinactment enthusiast should get one.

synthetic slipper static

Of course this exists – do you think I like my hair to look like a dandelion clock?

your valentine’s boss

The schmoochiest cuddliest loveliest day of the year approaches and he’s still a frigid evil troll.

your mum loves barry manilow

Not the most acerbic of cusses but worthy of use, no?

condensation stains curtains

My Auntie Pru would definitely beg to differ, you should see the state of her swags.

pizza pilot gets points

They drive like little bl**dy maniacs yet not one of them has made the news (according to Google) for being punished for their anti-social ways!